We are a full service newsletter, so we offer these can’t-miss Christmas gift ideas for the hard-to-please. Hoverboards are the “It” gift this season, but what about all the poor souls who don’t own one? We’ve devised a remote that lets you seize control from a distance and slam the thing in reverse, toggle forward, reverse, forward again. Think, conga dancing on wheels. Nice, huh?
How about a gorilla selfie? Ours are signed by the artist.
Tired of those same old matching silk pajamas? Très démodée. We’ve got coordinating PJs—for owner and pet. Not just dogs and cats either. We’ve got gerbil (cute!), gecko, parrot, mongoose, tarantula, and python (great selfies!).
Need a gift for the brother-in-law who makes his own craft beer and waxes rhapsodically about the sparge process like he’s reciting a Shakespeare sonnet? We can help you work his wort. For him, we’ve got gelatin capsules you drop into his mash that are guaranteed to make everything come out tasting like a deodorant puck.
Check out our entire gift catalog. You’re welcome.
Speaking of gifts, consider our artisanal Newsletter as a stocking stuffer. We demand that items be identified by author, so you don’t have to worry about provenance. From our farm to your table, the Winter 2015 edition has everything from Beltway to Bureau, Privacy to Preemption, Mobiles to Mortgages, plus entire sections that don’t even alliterate. And it’s 100% hand-crafted and gluten-free.
Until next time, on Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen. Have a wonderful holiday and a Happy New Year, from all of us to all of you.
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